Why Fake Is Sometimes the Most Real of All

In a perfect world I would make all of my family's food from scratch. There would be not a box or a can in sight in my quaint, perfectly decorated farmhouse kitchen. Note: I do not have a perfectly decorated farmhouse kitchen. This, too, only exists in the aforementioned perfect, imaginary world. Moving on.

So, that would be ideal. But, in order for that perfect culinary ideal to be a reality, everything else in my life would also need to be perfect and ideal. I would have all the time in the world to cook and bake. My family would always prefer the all natural, organic version rather than the processed, boxed version. I would always prefer the natural version. I would always have all ingredients on hand to make every recipe from scratch and said ingredients would always be in season, not to mention afordable. 

I do not live in this world. If you do, please tell me where you live. As much as I hate moving, I would pack up my boxes and become your new neighbor and bring you fresh baked cookies daily. 

So, as much as I try to make all of our food healthy and homemade, sometimes that just is not my reality. Sometimes the fake, from a box, pop a can food is what needs to happen. Sometimes, yes, it is even what we prefer.

This brings me to my cheese danish. Well, that and my desire for a taste of lovely, sugary goodness is what brings me to my cheese danish. This week I sent my oldest off to high school camp with our church. She has been to camp every year since she was 7 but this year, obviously, was different. She's in high school. It's a whole week. It's in California. Did I mention she's in high school? I was excited to send her and she was excited to go. Even so, we cried together the night before she left. 

I wanted to make her a special breakfast for the morning of her departure. Something yummy, but quick and possibly easy to eat on the go. She had to be at church a 7 am and this is a girl who doesn't see daylight before 8 on a good day. It was entirely plausible she'd be rolling out of bed 10 minutes prior to departure time and eating her breakfast in the car. 

I immediately thought of my cheese danish. I ran it by my eleven year old, got the thumbs up, and we set out to give our girl a proper send off. 

This is not health food. It is not all natural. It is not low calorie. 

This is yummy. This does say 'I love you' in a way few breakfast foods can. This is a lovely treat.

This is how you make it.

Ingredients

2 cans refriegerated crescent rolls

2 boxes cream cheese (Please, please do not use low fat. Just go for it.)

1 1/4 cups sugar ( DO NOT even think of using fake sugar.)

1 tsp vanilla

1 egg yoke, slightly beaten

Preheat the oven to 350. Spray a 9 x 13 baking dish with cooking spray. Spread out one can of the crescents in the dish, pinching the edges to close the gaps. In a stand mixer, or with an electric mixer, mix the rest of ingredients until light and fluffy, scraping the sides of the bowl if necessary. Spread the cream cheese mixture over the top of the rolls. Spread out the second can of the crescent rolls over the top, again pinching the seams to close the gaps. Bake for 30 minutes. Let cool on the counter for about an hour. Refirgerate overnight. 

                                 

                         My little made this nearly all by hersef for her best friend, big sister.

                            Dude, check this sweet action shot of my Bean spreading the 

                                                    cheese mixture on top of the rolls. 

Yep. That's it. Way affordable. Way easy. And, most important, way yummy.

                                   

When you are ready to eat in the morning, cut yourself a handsome slice, pop it in the microwave for about 20-30 seconds, and enjoy.

You can eat these after they cool a bit, right out of the oven. However, they will be a bit gooey when you slice into them and the cheese filling may run. This is not the worst thing in the world, but if you can make it the day before and wait, you will get nice, clean slices. 

It was a hit. My girl loved it and even got up early enough to enjoy her slice with a cup of coffee at the table. 

Um, yes, my 13 year old drinks coffee. Subject for another blog.

So was it "real?" It was really delicious. And, sometimes, that's good enough. Sometimes, giving your family a little of the fake food that tastes good and reminds them of home, is just about as real as it gets. 

Keeping Score

Today marks the end of Lent. Confession: Before this year I've never participated in Lent. If I'm honest, I'm not sure I ever really understood the purpose or meaning of Lent. Ok - I'm feeling very Catholic: confessing and participating in Lent.  Anyway, the fam and I began an Easter devo in March, the focus of which was Lent. Ultimately we ditched the devo in favor of reading the gospel of Mark togther. However, prior to ditching th devo, we all agreed to participate in Lent and fast. My sweet Emma chose to fast from carbs, bless her heart. Thankfully we ditched that commitment along with the devo. I do love me some bread. I had decided to fast from social media, including Facebook, Instagram and yes, the horror, Pinterest. Admittedly, when I announced this commitment, I sort of thought I took the easy way out. I mean, I didn't give up coffee or tv, or sugar or bacon - you know the tough stuff. This was just a litttle computer time, a little guilty pleasure.  So, even though we stopped the Lent devo, I decided to stick with my decision to fast from these things. How hard could it be, right? Tip of the day: if you're wondering whether something in your life is an addictive stronghold, commit to giving it up for 40 days. As it turns out, Facebook and Instagram were easy. I can honestly say I didn't miss either and I'm not sure I'll go back. But, Pinterest on the other hand...whoa baby. 

My first real test in the Great Pinterest Fast of 2014 occurred when the hubs and I went out of town for our anniversary. I was only a week into the fast and was already experiencing some withdrawal: cold sweats, the shakes, migraines. I'm kidding (sort of.) But, I was missing the mindless scroll through recipes, DIY and home decor. 

So, the hubs surprises me and takes me away to the beautiful cabin of a friend of his. And it was indeed beautiful: beautiful setting, beautiful weather and, yes I'll say it, my beautiful man. Of course the most exciting part for us, as it is with any of our vacations, was cable television. Perfection.

So there we were, on our first night, cuddling on the couch and watching some House Hunters on our favorite channel of all time: HGTV. It was lovely. And then it happened. The hubs grabs his Ipad and fires up what else? Yep. Pinterest. He opens Pinterest and glances over at me and asks, casually, "I'm sorry. Does this bother you?"  Now, let me clarify. I know it may bother some wives when their husbands go on the Internet or read a magazine or a book or answer texts when they're supposed to be spending time together watching tv. Unless it is our weekly Friday night date night, I am not one of those women. It really doesn't bother me. Really. So, his question was not about not paying attention to the gloriousness of cable television, it was specifically addressing his use of Pinterest in front of me. Confession time again: I responded in a less than genuine manner: "No. It's totally fine. Go ahead." Truth: I actually had to change position on the couch so I wouldn't be tempted to peak over his shoulder and steal a look. The sad part is, he scrolls through things like cars, outdoors, watches. AKA: boooorrrrriiiing. 

And yet, I wanted what he had. I wanted a Pinterest fix. And, he knew it.

On the second night of our mini vacation, after a sad, failed attempt to teach me to play pool, we happened upon a game that wasn't really a game. Point of fact, the name of the game was The Ungame. It was simple: a deck of cards with questions designed to help people in a group to get to know one another better. It bears mentioning that we're here, on vacation, celebrating 17 years of marriage. Was there anything left that we didn't know about each other? We were both surprised to find out there was indeed quite a bit we didn't know. It was a lovely evening and I found myself falling in love with him all over again as we revealed fears, joys and dreams. I don't think he'd mind if I shared with you that we became our own romantic comedy that evening: we laughed, we cried. All of this made possible by the absence of technology. Imagine that.

We returned home from our magical weekend more connected than we had been in a long time and refreshed, ready to get back into the grind of normal life. Would we, I wondered on the drive home as I anxiously waited to see my babies, be returning with such joy and enthusiasm if we had spent the weekend next to each other, but disengaged, each doing our own thing? To use one of my favorite words that Erik absolutely hates: prolly not. 

Lent: 1  Pinterest: 0

We settled back into our crazy normal, complete with the demands of home, school and ministry. My next Pinterest challenge came as I attempted to engage in one of my favorite activities, baking. My aversion to Emma's carb fast is making more sense now isn't it? I realized I had come to a point where  I found all of my baking inspiration from Pinterest. I stood in my kitchen, after sending my children off to school, at a complete loss. Moreover, I was staring at 25 pounds of pink lady apples I had just purchased through a local CSA. What was I going to do with 25 pounds of apples and no Pinterest? This seemed like a dauntng, impossible proposition. 

Erik called me that day to check in, as he always does, and asked what I was up to. I told him I was looking through my cookbooks, incuding my fave, The Joy of Cooking, looking for apple recipes. Then he said something that for me became a light bulb moment for the way I wanted to live my life. "Oh," he said in his most charming voice, "your grandmother's pinterest."

Right? I realized in that moment that we, women my age, had become a generation that went to Pinterest, or WebMD, or Facebook, for advice, recipes, home keeping tips. We had traded in the knoweledge, wisdom and expertise of the older women in our lives for the cold, meaningless, rules of the internet culture. My reality had become the things I pinned, not the life I lived. I compared how I looked, who I was, what I was or was not doing, to the people, many of whom I didn't know, that I followed on social media. I had traded joy for status, for reputation. 

Lent: 2 Pinterest: 0

So, what did I do with all those apples? I made apple pies, including one for my new neighbors. I made an apple crisp with a recipe passed on to me by a woman at church whom I greatly admire and respect. I made overnight apple butter that made my home smell like heaven. I made Emma's favorite apple sauce and mini apple pies for my family for dessert. I delivered apple butter to a friend who was going through a tough time. 2nd tip of the day: if you have a friend going through a tough time, visit her in person, with food, and pray with her. It really does make a difference and it is way better than sending a Facebook message telling them you're praying for them. All of this happened without Pinterest. Shocking, I know.

Lent: 3 Pinterest: 0

Oh, and one more thing about that woman that I admire and respect. I took her to lunch to seek her advice about some issues I was facing with my daughters. Her words dripped wisdom and were filled with love and warmth. She shared her life experience with me and encouraged me in ways no website ever could. She checks on me. She hugs me. She is real and I am better for knowing her. These are sentiments I could never use to describe the Internet.

Lent: 4 Pinterest: 0

In the absence of Pinterest, I realized how self focused my thoughts had become. I came to recognize that I often scrolled through Pinterest searching for ways to make me better, to look better, to dress better. Pinterest had turned my attention to the outside of the cup while I let the inside get dirty and filthy. I had to admit that I did not live the life God was calling me to because I was afraid that that life wouldn't like or even remotely resemble the one I aspired to live in my faux Pinterest reality. I had reached a point in my life where I often dreaded getting up in the morning because it would be one more day I would engage in the rituals of fitting into the mold I bought from the world and tried and failed to follow the rules no one had set but me. 

As I neared the end of the fast, I was faced with the decision: would I go back? With Facebook and Instagram, the answer was a pretty easy no. I would leave my accounts open to send pictures to my dad and get  messages, announce new blogs posts (!),  but really didn't feel the need to check in on these forums daily, or even weekly. Easy. done. Pinterest...

Pinterest isn't evil. It can be a fun, sometimes helpful and harmless source of information. But, my fast had taught me it could be a lot of other things as well. I knew as I made the decision to re-engage in Pinterest, there were other decisions that needed to be made first. Namely, what kind of life did I want to lead? I needed to make some decisions about who I was, who I wanted to be, and how I wanted to raise my family, before I went back to Pinterest. Why? Because if I engaged in this seemingly innocuous past time absent a confidence of my own identity, I would run the risk of letting someone or something else dictate those answers and deciscions to me and for me. 

I'm no longer willing to relinquish that control to anyone. Anyone except the One who should have always had control over my life. I am surrendering and giving it all to God. Wow. I think I may have actually come to finally understand Lent. 

Lent, nay, God: Everything Pinterest, nay, the world: 0

Happy Easter. The victory has been won, it's time we claimed it and lived it. 

Attention to Detail

There is an old saying that goes something akin to, “The devil is in the details.” That may or may not be true, but I’ve learned recently that even if the slimy bugger is there, so is God. God is most definitely in the details.

 

“He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.” Psalm 147:4

 

Last week I took on a long overdue project. I am a master procrastinator. It’s something of an art form for me. I had a white serving tray that desperately needed to be repainted.  Actually, I had repainted it about 18 months ago. It was an ugly, beat up brown tray I painted bright white. On to which, I then proceeded to stencil some very mod black chandeliers. I think it was at the height of my Mad Men phase. It turned out pretty cute but I never did seal the darn thing so, with two kids and the hubs, it got pretty beat up pretty fast. Life is like that it, isn’t it? We start out so great and then we fail to finish strong. Ugh. Alas, that is a subject for another day.

 

   The before pic. I started to prime it before I thought to snap a pic. It wasn't really that dirty.

Anyway, back to the tray. Design wise, I have happily returned to my shabby chic, rustic roots. Let me pause for a deep breath here. It just feels good to surround yourself with stuff that feels like you, like home, doesn’t it?  So, my design plan for the tray was to repaint the whole thing ivory and then do a teal chevron pattern on the surface.  I’d never painted chevrons, but really, how hard could it be? Um, yeah. Special Note To My Kids: Yes, you will indeed use math when you get older. I promise.

 

I had to carefully measure the length and width, find the half way points, find the mid points again and then tape it off matching up each mid-point with it’s corresponding point on the opposite side. I needed to measure to the sixteenth inch or the chevrons came out askew and failed to create the desired effect. It was tedious.  It was time consuming. It was frustrating. But, in the end, I am happy I took the time and I am generally pleased with the outcome,save a few paint smudges. I paid attention to the details and it paid off.

   First round of paint done. Chevrons measured and taped. Ready to carefully cut out the design.

  I traced, with a sharpie, the tape that should stay. Ready to paint with the ivory.

 With the beginning of the New Year I have once again begun my bible in a year reading plan. In addition to devotional reading with the fam and bible study with my girlfriends, the yearly plan is one that remains a constant in my spiritual growth. As you might have guessed, I started at the beginning: Genesis. I was reading the instructions God gave to Noah for building the ark. Such details God gave. Exact measurements, precise materials, minute details. At the same time I was reading this, the hubs was reading about the Ark of the Covenant and the Tabernacle. Again, no detail left out. Nothing overlooked. No direction forgotten. All necessary information was included and all information included was necessary.

 

“But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:25

 

God cares about the details. He cares about our attention, our obedience to the details. He doesn’t call for us to skim His commandments and get the general idea and mostly follow them. No. We are to know them, to wear them on our hearts, to live them, in every detail. I’m not talking legalism here. I’m speaking of wisdom, of obedience. Just as with my tray, when we attempt short cuts, when we fail to fully obey, we fail to achieve the desired effect. We fail to receive the full blessing of God because we fail to fully obey Him.

 

“Love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always.” Deuteronomy 11:1

 

As believers we have all been told that God can answer prayers three ways. Right? He can say yes, no or not now. But often, I am convinced, the yes answers come with conditions. Often, God may say, “Yes, child. And here is what it will take to see this come to fruition.”  But we act like kids and plug our ears and start humming after we hear just the “yes” part. We don’t really want to know what it will take, what our responsibility is, what we may be called to give up or go do to see our answered prayer become a reality. God says yes, but, scared of giving up our comfortable, self-centered life, we say, “Never mind.”  

 

“Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession . . .”  Exodus 19:5

 

The details of what it takes to obey, to receive the blessings of God, to have the promised freedom of Christ, are where we become like the rich young ruler. The young ruler, upon being told by Jesus that he would need to give up everything to follow Him, turns around and leaves. And, just as with the ruler, Jesus doesn’t change his standards and run after us. The bar has been set. Will we let go of everything else to take hold of that which has been promised to us?  What if, upon hearing the measurements of the ark, Noah said, “Never mind. It’s too hard.” What if, upon hearing the detailed attention required for the Tabernacle, Moses and the Israelites refused because God asked too much of them. God’s purpose would still have been accomplished. He and His plan are bigger than our no’s for sure. But, Noah and Noah’s family would feel the effects of Noah’s refusal. The Israelites and their families would have felt the effects of their refusal.  

 

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John 1:6

 

Refusing to obey God, to pay attention to His details, is not a victimless crime. What are you saying no to? Who is suffering the effects of your refusal?

 

“This calls for patient endurance on the part of the saints who obey God’s commandments and remain faithful to Jesus.” Revelation 14:2

 

Here is my finished tray. It’s not perfect. But, following instructions and attention to detail got me a lot closer to the desired outcome. It usually does.