What Was I Thinking?

I took the week after my return from the Dominican Republic off. I mean, off off....off. Seriously off. I took 2.5 hour naps, met girlfriends for breakfast, lunch and coffee. I watched more than a few episodes of Top Gear, read in the rain (aahhh) and generally tried to do as little as possible.

(Side note: I will publish an at length account of my ah-mazing time in the Dominican...prob this weekend when I am home alone (jumping up and down here) while kiddos and DH go camping.)

Anyway, back to my vacation from my vacation. I gave myself permission to be so lazy on the condition that I did in fact need to become more disciplined and would promptly do so next (this) week. And, I stuck to it - I even did lesson planning - yuck - and got up early - double yuck - to hike on Monday. The hike felt good, I was off to an admirable start and we dove in...head first. Remember what your mom used to tell you about diving - feet first, first time. Well, we had the metaphorical equivalent of banging our heads on rocks as we attempted to do school in a more structured, orderly fashion. (Triple yuck with a moldy cherry on top.)

At the end of today, after spending time in grammar books and doing a math test and even writing a history report, I'm left asking myself: What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking, at least not about anything that makes sense for my family. If I was thinking I would've remembered we don't do schedules. I would have embraced slower days instead of seeing them as a precursor to making empty promises to myself. I would have used my extra time last week to read with the kiddos and do crafts. I would have started my week decorating for Easter: Hello Pastels, where have you been all winter? I would have baked a cake with the kiddos...wait, hubby did bake a cake with the kiddos. Ok, that part went well. But, I would have relaxed and known at the end of it all - at the end of the week, at the end of the school year, at the end of it all, what needed to get done would be done, and what could wait, waited.

Funny, too, that I came home from the Dominican stressed about schedule when, you know what I worried about there? Nothing, nada, zilch, zero. For 8 glorious days not a single thing woke me in the middle of the night or sent me into a panic. And so, that's what I want to bring home. Not a renewed sense of 'have to', but a renewed sense of gratitude for what I get to do, everyday. So, tomorrow, we'll be reading, doing crafts and maybe a math problem, but only if we feel like it. In fact, I plan on implementing one more custom from the Dominican- the siesta. After lunch, everyday, the whole country shuts down - slows down - for a rest. This is perhaps the most beautiful custom I could imagine. So, it seems that it is indeed siesta time around here. I better get to it...

In His Service

Am I Sold Out Or Have I bought In?

Conformed or transformed? This was the opening question in one of my email devotions the other morning. Given that the girls and I were going to memorize Romans 12:2 together this seemed all to appropriate. One more piece of evidence against the existence of coincidences.

So, I posed that question to my eight and ten year old daughters. Admittedly, I thought I would throw it out there and then have to further explain what it means to conform to the world. Wrong. I was blown away when Jilly, my eight year old said, "For me it's Barbie.com. Whenever I go on there all of a sudden the Barbies you and daddy bought me aren't good enough and I want new ones. And, I want to look like them." Oh no. Emma added, "AmericanGirl.com. I go right to the shopping page and I want, want, want." I was at once alarmed at how the world had seeped through the cracks in our locked doors and impressed with their ability to identify their vulnerabilities. We began to pray and discuss strategies for dealing with these temptations. And then it happened, they hit me square between the eyes: Mommy, how do you conform to the world?

I thought for a moment and God blessed me with a light bulb moment. Without hesitation these words came from my mouth: "Everyday I put make-up on and straighten my hair, I feel like I am conforming to worldly standards of beauty and saying to God that what He created could use a little improvement." My ten year old brought me to tears when she recited Psalm 139:14 to me word for word: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." My girls know this verse because I have recited it to them that they might know how amazing they are, just the way they are, simply because they are children of God. But, every morning as they watched me blow out and straighten my naturally wavy hair and put on make-up, what I was saying to them was at best that it wasn't true for me and at worst that it was a complete lie.

I'm not saying that make-up is evil or bad. No object is evil or bad - but certainly our attitudes toward them can become so. For me, the lessons I was imparting on my daughters and the fact that my confidence now came from a bottle of foundation instead of the firm foundation of Christ, was enough for me to take notice. So we, my girls and I, made an agreement. They would give up their websites, and I would give up my hair straightener and make-up. Erik even got on board and has blocked websites he used to peruse for cars and trucks. We've agreed to do it for thirty days, although Jilly threw down when she said she could go a year without Barbie. My hope is though, that we will discover not only do we not need these things in our life, we don't want them anymore.


You are God, You are God, of all else we're letting go.

I leave on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic in 10 days. I will be spending time in an orphanage with some of the most beautiful creatures on God's earth. Beautiful, simply because the are created by the Creator. Certainly I want to go and make an impact for God's kingdom and to be a faithful servant. But my prayer is that, as I know I will be impacted too, perhaps I will come home knowing that I am beautiful, simply because...and my daughters will know....and their daughters will know.....Like I said, impacting God's kingdom.