Faith Like Yoga

I’m not a pampered woman by any means. I gave that up with God’s help when the law firm my husband worked for downsized to nothing. Well, not nothing – counting him they still had two employees. Admittedly, before this I was, well, spoiled. Vacations, Kate Spade and Jimmy Choo were my normal. It was not healthy and I am truly thankful that God cured us of this worldly sickness, moved us back to the neighborhood where my husband grew up and gave us a lot less money and a lot more life. I had been living in this new existence quite comfortably for 2.5 years. Comfortable – not a place God usually lets you stay for very long. It wasn’t that I didn’t still appreciate some finer things. I had just learned to get them cheaper, less often and in smaller quantities. I gave up my brand new Jeep for a ten tear old minivan. I gave up Kate Spade for a more sensible cross-body bag from REI and my Jimmy Choos usually stay in their box while I rock my Target Converse or AE flipflops bought on sale for $8.00. But, honestly, I’m cool with that. I spend everyday with my two kiddos that I get to homeschool and my husband who works from home.

If this were a cartoon of my life you’d be hearing the proverbial tire screeching right now signaling that some really good thing had just come to an abrupt halt. Just when comfortable had settled into my home again, found a chair at my dinner table and soothed me to bed each night, my husband came home and kicked him out. My husband came home, announced that he would be quitting his job, and working for the church. This was great news – he had wanted to be in ministry for over a year, we’d been praying for this, this was exactly what we had asked for. Well, not exactly. But then again, answered prayers never look just the way you thought they would, do they? Our answer came in the form of an unpaid internship in youth ministry at our church. Foodonthetable say what? We will be fundraising our entire year’s salary. I love giving – help, money, food, time, clothes, just about anything. I am a giver. But, the idea of having to ask people for money and support, for an entire year because we chose to leave a paying job for an unpaid, no benefit job? This thought literally made me feel sick to my stomach. You know how people always say God is stretching you? Well, if faith were like yoga, we were getting ready for straight legs side crow. Not sure what that is? OUCH will suffice as a translation.

So begins our year of stretching: stretching a dollar, stretching our faith, stretching our forgiveness and understanding of one another, stretching our comfort zones, stretching our children. We will have to be more flexible in every area of our life this year – it is no longer a luxury but a necessity. Funny, I have been searching for so long for the perfect topic to stretch my writing muscles. There you go – another prayer answered.

Funny, it’s not how I thought it would look.

PS Many of you have asked: Dominican blog coming soon...promise. Just need time to do it justice. To write a blog about a life changing mission trip in an afternoon is just not possible for this girl.

What Was I Thinking?

I took the week after my return from the Dominican Republic off. I mean, off off....off. Seriously off. I took 2.5 hour naps, met girlfriends for breakfast, lunch and coffee. I watched more than a few episodes of Top Gear, read in the rain (aahhh) and generally tried to do as little as possible.

(Side note: I will publish an at length account of my ah-mazing time in the Dominican...prob this weekend when I am home alone (jumping up and down here) while kiddos and DH go camping.)

Anyway, back to my vacation from my vacation. I gave myself permission to be so lazy on the condition that I did in fact need to become more disciplined and would promptly do so next (this) week. And, I stuck to it - I even did lesson planning - yuck - and got up early - double yuck - to hike on Monday. The hike felt good, I was off to an admirable start and we dove in...head first. Remember what your mom used to tell you about diving - feet first, first time. Well, we had the metaphorical equivalent of banging our heads on rocks as we attempted to do school in a more structured, orderly fashion. (Triple yuck with a moldy cherry on top.)

At the end of today, after spending time in grammar books and doing a math test and even writing a history report, I'm left asking myself: What was I thinking? Clearly I wasn't thinking, at least not about anything that makes sense for my family. If I was thinking I would've remembered we don't do schedules. I would have embraced slower days instead of seeing them as a precursor to making empty promises to myself. I would have used my extra time last week to read with the kiddos and do crafts. I would have started my week decorating for Easter: Hello Pastels, where have you been all winter? I would have baked a cake with the kiddos...wait, hubby did bake a cake with the kiddos. Ok, that part went well. But, I would have relaxed and known at the end of it all - at the end of the week, at the end of the school year, at the end of it all, what needed to get done would be done, and what could wait, waited.

Funny, too, that I came home from the Dominican stressed about schedule when, you know what I worried about there? Nothing, nada, zilch, zero. For 8 glorious days not a single thing woke me in the middle of the night or sent me into a panic. And so, that's what I want to bring home. Not a renewed sense of 'have to', but a renewed sense of gratitude for what I get to do, everyday. So, tomorrow, we'll be reading, doing crafts and maybe a math problem, but only if we feel like it. In fact, I plan on implementing one more custom from the Dominican- the siesta. After lunch, everyday, the whole country shuts down - slows down - for a rest. This is perhaps the most beautiful custom I could imagine. So, it seems that it is indeed siesta time around here. I better get to it...

In His Service

Am I Sold Out Or Have I bought In?

Conformed or transformed? This was the opening question in one of my email devotions the other morning. Given that the girls and I were going to memorize Romans 12:2 together this seemed all to appropriate. One more piece of evidence against the existence of coincidences.

So, I posed that question to my eight and ten year old daughters. Admittedly, I thought I would throw it out there and then have to further explain what it means to conform to the world. Wrong. I was blown away when Jilly, my eight year old said, "For me it's Barbie.com. Whenever I go on there all of a sudden the Barbies you and daddy bought me aren't good enough and I want new ones. And, I want to look like them." Oh no. Emma added, "AmericanGirl.com. I go right to the shopping page and I want, want, want." I was at once alarmed at how the world had seeped through the cracks in our locked doors and impressed with their ability to identify their vulnerabilities. We began to pray and discuss strategies for dealing with these temptations. And then it happened, they hit me square between the eyes: Mommy, how do you conform to the world?

I thought for a moment and God blessed me with a light bulb moment. Without hesitation these words came from my mouth: "Everyday I put make-up on and straighten my hair, I feel like I am conforming to worldly standards of beauty and saying to God that what He created could use a little improvement." My ten year old brought me to tears when she recited Psalm 139:14 to me word for word: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." My girls know this verse because I have recited it to them that they might know how amazing they are, just the way they are, simply because they are children of God. But, every morning as they watched me blow out and straighten my naturally wavy hair and put on make-up, what I was saying to them was at best that it wasn't true for me and at worst that it was a complete lie.

I'm not saying that make-up is evil or bad. No object is evil or bad - but certainly our attitudes toward them can become so. For me, the lessons I was imparting on my daughters and the fact that my confidence now came from a bottle of foundation instead of the firm foundation of Christ, was enough for me to take notice. So we, my girls and I, made an agreement. They would give up their websites, and I would give up my hair straightener and make-up. Erik even got on board and has blocked websites he used to peruse for cars and trucks. We've agreed to do it for thirty days, although Jilly threw down when she said she could go a year without Barbie. My hope is though, that we will discover not only do we not need these things in our life, we don't want them anymore.


You are God, You are God, of all else we're letting go.

I leave on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic in 10 days. I will be spending time in an orphanage with some of the most beautiful creatures on God's earth. Beautiful, simply because the are created by the Creator. Certainly I want to go and make an impact for God's kingdom and to be a faithful servant. But my prayer is that, as I know I will be impacted too, perhaps I will come home knowing that I am beautiful, simply because...and my daughters will know....and their daughters will know.....Like I said, impacting God's kingdom.

S.O.S.

I am laughing out loud right now - seriously. Not just like when you type LOL in a text but you're not really. No, I am literally LOL. Why you may ask (or you may not?) I started a blog here about feeling "drab" because I read something I wrote months ago about feeling and looking schleppy and I thought it was clever and funny. Perfect, I thought. I can just copy,paste add a few minor modifications and I will have another blog post. Ha, two in a week. That's great. So, as I'm making my minor changes so the post will appear as though I just thought this up between school and making dinner today, my computer goes crazy. F's just start appearing on the page and it starts making this horrible humming noise. All I can do is exit without saving. Did I stop and take notice here? No, of course not. I went right back to my word doc, tried to copy again and the same thing happened. This is when I took pause.



To have published that post would have been inauthentic. I am, in fact, not feeling drab (no matter how schleppy I look today.) I did not, another point of fact, just write that in some sudden burst of clever inspiration. I am struck here by a truth: If anything, shouldn't we strive to be authentic? To be anything less would be a lie. So, thank you God for stopping me from being disingenuous and prompting me to be honest.



I read Matthew 21 a few days ago and it left me pondering a few things. You know the story: Jesus enters the temple and rebukes them for turning a house of prayer into a market place and he throws them out. This resonated with me profoundly. As a commentary on consumerism, I am guilty of turning the temple into a marketplace. Here's what I mean: I should have a healthy active spiritual life , one that is demonstrated in the temple God gave me, namely my body. That is, my mind should be actively engaged in prayer, in conversations with God. My lips should be proclaiming the gospel and praising my heavenly father. My ears should be filters for what is good and pleasing so that I can hear and meditate on those things that are pure, noble, and just. My body should be used for service to the glory of my Father. But, if I am in fact worshipping at the feet of "more", I have pushed God out of my temple and it has become just another (market)place for stuff.

What sort of stuff? The stuff that keeps me up night, a.k.a. worry. Was I good mom today? Do my kids love Jesus? Do my babies know they are loved? Did I love and respect my husband the way he deserves or did I, as I often do, nag at him and complain about tiny, significant details? The thing that often worries me most is that I spent too much time thinking about me and my life instead of keeping my focus on Jesus and serving others. Which, when analyzed is certifiable because I'm worrying about me worrying about me too much...are you tracking 'cause I know my head hurts...

But, there's other stuff too, namely Shiny Object Syndrome (S.O.S.) We are inundated with what I recently heard termed "hyper-reality." This is the reality created on tv, in reality-television, on commercials, in magazines. It is what I now think of as the air-brushed version of reality. It tries to paint a picture of what life could be like if only....if only I had the right car, the right house, the right body, the right job, the right fill in the blank. Reality isn't good enough for us anymore, we want a version of it that is a little more perfect and in fact, isn't real or attainable at all. But here's the kicker: just as soon as we settle on the version of reality we think we want and we make that our goal and create "dream boards" to stare back at us everyday as reminders that what we have right now isn't at all satisfying, another, better, shinier version of reality is proposed and that becomes our new obsession. This is the stuff that crowds our temple, ideas we try to sell ourselves, that ends up taking up to much real estate in our minds and leaves no room for Christ.

So, I'm sending up my S.O.S. to Jesus. I'm laying it in the shadow of the cross and leaving it there because I know He is the only one that can truly satisfy and save. Matthew 6:33 is my favorite verse, my life verse. But if I'm honest, I've not been applying it to my life. So, here is my challenge: to really focus on His kingdom and His righteousness and know that all these things shall be added unto me as well. I need not worry, I need not lust after a better version of me or my life. He has heard my S.O.S., I am rescued and that, my friend, is the best of all realities.

In His Service,

The Girl Is Crafty

Something strange is going on around here....The other morning I wore diamond earrings when I walked the dog (ok, ok, faux diamonds, but still). I put cucumbers in my water this afternoon - a simple treat, but it feels so luxurious. I painted my toes red and I'm preparing to order seeds for my garden. To top it off, on a whim, I turned one of hubby's old button up shirts into a super cute apron. But then again, isn't that how all good crafts should start: with whimsy? It seems whimsy is in the air around here and it's intoxicating. In fact, hubby even noted this afternoon, "You seem cheerful." What a perfectly delightful compliment. I feel cheer-full and it's amazing.



I'm not one for New Year's Resolutions as I think change happens all the time and should begin whenever the urge strikes. But, I have to say my urge for change coincided with 1-1-11 this year and I am eager to embrace it and follow where it leads. It's a fire in my belly, a God nudge, calling me to make everyday special and indulge my creative crazies. So, no more waiting for holidays to bring out the special dishes or asking, "Is that too much glitter?" I mean, could there be a more perfect time to get creative? It's almost Valentine's Day: hearts, candies and ribbons, oh my. I can almost taste the conversation hearts already and I can hardly stop myself from hanging a big, pink and red glittery heart on my front door with the word "Love" emblazoned in roses... Is that too much? Um, no....



We've taken this delicious approach with school this semester too. We've put away our boring text books for a bit and we're shaking it up. We read, read, read and then we draw and color and then we garden and then we read again and then we get a little crafty and then we read some more. The girls are having so much fun and are learning a ton. I love being snuggled up on the couch with some coffee and hot chocolate and knowing that yes, they are getting an education. I can't imagine sending them off for seven hours a day to let someone else have all that fun with my kiddos. Right now we are reading Harry Potter V, Anne of Green Gables and Three Cups of Tea together. Jilly is reading Mouse & The Motorcycle and King Arthur, while Emma enjoys the Black Stallion and The Biography of Eli Whitney (fascinating btw.) It's a delightful way to learn and an even more delightful way to teach.



So, tomorrow I think I'll put on a little red lipstick, make heart shaped pancakes for breakfast and celebrate the holiday. Which one? Not sure yet, but I'll find one and be sure to give it proper attention. Everyday is a gift from God. Here's to unwrapping it!

In His Service

Fall Fun

This year, I am happy to report, that our fall days have been the proverbial big pile of freshly raked leaves and we have been indeed jumping in and having a fabulous time. Although we've been busy, I am so thankful as I look at my exhausted babies asleep in the van going from one event to the next that we are making some pretty grand memories. I love everything about fall. I love wandering the school supply aisles at Walmart, I love pumpkin lattes at Starbucks, I love candy corn and I love almost feeling like I could wear a sweater.



My husband and I very often speak in movie quotes to each other, and this is one of our faves. In the spirit of autumn, I offer this sentiment to you as well:

Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms. (You've Got Mail)

Fall mornings mean different things to different people, I know. For instance, to Erik it means waking early to take a brisk bike ride with his friends on a Saturday morning. For me, it means making doughnuts and coveting the homes on This Old House in my PJ's. To each his own....

This year we also roasted our own pumpkins to make pumpkin puree. Let me tell you, two small pie pumpkins make a pretty massive amount of puree. For me, this itch has been satisfied and I can check off 'make pumpkin puree' from my life list and go back to Libby's puree in a can. We were able to make two pumpkin pies and pumpkin whoopie pies which are, if I do say so myself, de-lish. Statistics say most Americans gain 7-10 pounds in the holiday season. We're over achievers, we're going to see if we can top that record.

To aid in our weight gain efforts we went trick-or-treating and brought home quite the haul in our homemade trick or treat bags. We had a match fit pair this year - a hippie and a sailor. They walked around the neighborhood protesting each other....totally kidding. We had an awesome time and even met some of our neighbors who are looking for a church. Yes, Halloween can be an outreach opportunity.

Our season also included a Fall Fest at the park and an old-fashioned pumpkin carving party complete with apple bobbing. These events are proof it doesn't take fancy gadgets, expensive bounce houses or lots of money to have some good clean fun. And, can I just say, I love my girls' affinity for simplicity? When we arrived at the carving party there were all sorts of intricate patterns for pumpkin carving. My kids would have none of it and stuck with triangles and toothy grins, despite some pretty heavy pressure to go all fancy-schmancy. I am beyond thrilled that they still love an old school jack-o-lantern. And, although their stubborness can make me want to pull out my hair some days, I so admire their tenacity and their strong sense of self. I marvel at them everyday.

So that just about wraps up fall for us. My sister's wedding is this month and I can't think of better way to celebrate my favorite season than by celebrating love. And, of course, Thanksgiving looms ahead. But, as I'm not hosting this year, I'm simply looking forward to the parade and food I didn't prepare. Does anyone else still watch the parade? Erik is convinced I'm the only one left who insists on watching it in its entirety. I'm such a sucker for a good parade.

In His Service -

These Pants Don't Fit

I have been homeschooling for almost four years now and I've just begun to figure some things out. The biggest discovery I've made just this week is that trying to homeschool the way a blog or a website or a book or even a friend tells you to is like trying to wear the wrong size pants. I wish I could wear jeans two sizes smaller than I do and in theory, I would look fabulous in them. But, the harder I try to fit into them the more it hurts and I end up feeling frustrated and like I failed. Not to mention that I look ridiculous.

This is true of my past approach to home schooling. I don't blame the books or blogs, I take full responsibility. I am a Shiny Object Homeschooler. I commit to one curriculum and I love it and hug it and name it George, until....Oooh, that's pretty. I see another curriculum that looks even better and I convince myself that my kids will surely miss out if I don't immediately incorporate it into our classroom, until....Ooooh, that's pretty...You get the idea.

I'm done with that. I didn't start homeschooling so that someone else could tell me what to do. Quite the opposite. I love homeschooling because I get to choose, be flexible, take the time I want, keep what works, can what doesn't, take a day off to lounge in our PJ's and watch movies and eat popcorn and call it extracurricular. I love that! Why would I let someone tell me I was wrong or try to fit my totally unique, awesome kids into their one size fits all education?

So, I'm trying to be more aware of what works for us and relax and enjoy these precious years. I also plan to share more of what we discover works for us in the hopes it might help someone else too. I felt so lost when I first started and wished there had been more realistic, practical tips. But, please, if you try one of our methods and it doesn't work for you, CAN IT - without guilt or hesitation.

Here are a couple of things that work for us:

Our filing trays - one for each girl. Oh, and that's my pocket Peyton - a birthday present.

5 in 5

5 in 5 is our filing method. We all hate to file and so we don't. We are organized to the point that each child has their own tray to put all their filing in for a later time. But, we began to notice that later time never came. So, we always have a few minutes each day where one child is waiting to start a lesson while the other finishes. During this time now, the waiting child will grab 5 things from their cubby and file what they can in 5 minutes. This is working beautifully for us: our filing doesn't pile up, we don't stop between every subject to file and no one complains because it's only 5 things and 5 minutes.

Our folders - organized by subject and color.

Reading After Lunch

We try to get all of our school done in the morning before we break for lunch. This is especially true for my youngest child as once she stops, she's done. But, if I'm honest, this doesn't usually happen. There are inevitably one or two things we don't get to and must finish in the afternoon. However, if I try to take my children from the freedom of lunch right back into the classroom to go back at it, we all get frustrated. So, each day after lunch they get their pillows or paper and art supplies and they relax or draw while I read one chapter from each of the two books we read together. This takes us about 30-40 minutes and afterward they are calm and happy and ready to finish the day. This one change to our schedule, implemented after my youngest gave up naps, has made a huge impact on all of our sanity. We're not sane mind you, but we're not getting crazier anymore.

Our current after lunch reading. We're finishing the Laura series and although we've

read Harry Potter before, we have so much fun reading it as a family we're going through the

series again.