Signs of Life

Confession: I've been watching my life again lately. I've been a total spectator in the stands and not even the kind that is really into the game. I think I've been on an extended half-time, still eating popcorn and waiting for the crowds to clear so I can go to the bathroom. By this I mean I haven't been doing anything because I keep waiting for everything to settle down. Note to self: It never settles down. I go to bed every night promising myself to get more out of this blessed life tomorrow. I live a pretty incredible life, but I do I truly take advantage of it?

It got me to thinking. Is my life well lived? How do you know if a life is well lived? What are the signs of life?

I think I found some.



Like missing teeth. Really, at what other time in your life would you proudly show the fact that you have no front teeth? This is a moment that comes once in a lifetime. For Jill, it came at seven. She lost the first front tooth in the normal bathroom sink kind of way. But the second was missing when she woke up one morning. We continue to work under the assumption that she swallowed it in her sleep as we never did find the tooth. After laboring to eat apples, corn and just about everything with two loose front teeth, she is reveling in the ease with which food slips right in now.

Another sign of life: Bruises, bumps and scrapes.

It's a fact, you can't get hurt if you're not in the game. But, then again, what's the fun in watching other people play the game just to spare yourself a little pain? The girls have been on their bikes everyday getting every second out of these glorious days God has given us. Nearly every afternoon, just as soon as they come in, they hear a call from the neighbor kids, "Emma, Jill?" They look at one another and without a word spoken they slips their shoes back on and run outside to squeeze out just a little more fun before it's time to come in for dinner. Not a moment wasted. Every drop of sunshine reaches its full potential in their imagination and joy.

One of my favorite signs of life: dancing.


Erik took the girls to annual Daddy-Daughter Dance at church in February. But he did more than just take them to the dance. I was horribly sick that day and had planned to take the girls to get their hair done and paint their nails - all the fun girly stuff that comes with such an occasion. I worried they would miss out, but I shouldn't have worried. I should have remembered whom I married. He took them to get their hair done, painted their nails, helped them get dressed and then, of course, he danced with them all evening.

Oh, and there is one more dance around our here that brings life to the whole house and makes us all laugh. It can only be done by Jilly and she named it herself.

It is known simply as The Buffet.

This is only one small piece and if you've not seen the whole thing, you really must. Jill makes us all laugh all the time. The best part about her style of humor, is that it's so unintentional. It's the way when her dad asks her on the way to church, "Jill, how are you doing?" and she responds, "Why do you want to know?" It's the way when you ask her, when she's not listening, "Jill, what are our rules?" and she responds, "Listen, be respectful and don't execute people." We're pretty sure she meant don't interrupt, but then again, it is Jill...



A perhaps more subtle sign of life - maturity. Not the kind where one takes herself too seriously. No, the kind where you start to really discover who you are and even begin to get comfortable with what you find. My Emma is doing this in a really lovely way. I think back to when I was 9 and I can be pretty sure I did not mature as gracefully and beautifully as she seems to be doing now. Her smile is nearly as big as her heart. She finds fault with few, but even when she does is so quick to forgive. She doesn't judge, if you know her, you're her friend, and she is so well navigating the space between still being a little girl and becoming a young lady. She's still way into her music, loves animals and is becoming quite the mountain biker. I have to say, I soooo love her taste in music. Lately, she loves the Beatles, Erasure, French music and Harry Nilson. My girl.








I suppose a sign of life can also be marked by numbers. Like, 13 - the number of years Erik and I were married on March 15 this year. How about 4? The number of days we celebrated with a childless mini-vacation. We went to Las Vegas as a gift from our parents. My parents got us a suite at the Palazzo (The Venetian) and Erik's parents were generous enough to keep the girls. In addition, a former client of Erik's got us tickets to see The Beatles Cirque de Soleil show, Love. It was amazing and we had a great time just talking and walking and eating and eating and eating.... For two non-gamblers, by the end of day four we were anxious to get home and even more anxious to hold our babies. We kept thinking the whole time we were on vacation how blessed we feel to actually want to come home and what an awesome life God has given us. Erik gets to work from home, I am home schooling the girls, we eat 3 meals a day together, we continue to serve in teen ministry together, and, yes, we actually like to spend that much time together! Vacation seems to feel better when you don't feel like your trying to escape your life.


I can't think of a better time of year to talk about life. About new life, about resurrected life, about eternal life. So, as I celebrate life this Easter, the One given for me so that I may have new life, I suppose it's time I get in the game.


Ok, ok, but can I take my popcorn with me?


Happy Easter!

In His Service,

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas....Is Over?

Wow! That's all I could keep saying as I put away our holiday decorations this year. It seemed like we had just put them out and I was resolving, yet again, to really slow down and enjoy this Christmas season. While I certainly did enjoy the holidays, they went by really fast and I can't say that I ever slowed down. We managed to fit quite a bit in during the month of December including Jill's 7th birthday, a trip to Symphony Hall to see the Nutcracker, a visit to the Botanical Gardens, a road trip to Long Beach for a wedding, a run up the mountain to play in the snow and visit relatives, Christmas Eve at my sister's home and oh yes, Christmas! It was a whirlwind of a good time!

Our month kicked off as it as for the past seven years with Jilly's birthday. This year it was a sleepover with, count em', 10 little girls. If you're thinking it, I heard it a million times: Are you crazy?

The answer is yes, but it was so worth one night of chaos.

We decorated cookies, had makeovers (with lots & lots of red lipstick!), watched movies, ate way too much and stayed up way too late. This year was special as Jill requested that her friends make donations to Feed My Starving Children rather than bring gifts. Jilly was able to collect almost $100 which helped in our church's effort to feed over one million hungry children across the world.

The week before Christmas I traveled to Long Beach with my mother and uncle to attend my cousin's wedding. This was a lovely break with two people I always have a great time with and with whom I laugh a lot! We spent a day and a half just sitting on the beach trying to figure out a way to rearrange our lives so we could do so everyday. Alas, we came up with nothing and were forced to return to our normal routines. Granted my return to 65 degrees and sunny was a little easier than my uncle's return to sub-zero temperatues and blizzards in Omaha.

Good times, good times...

Finally, it was Christmas. Ah yes, the real reason for the season. Christmas Eve was spent at my sister, Carrie's home. It was a packed house with both my sisters, their fiancees, my mother and step father as well as extended family - including 11 children. But isn't that how Christmas is supposed to be? Loud, crowded, chaotic...It was perfect, it was great. It really was what a family holiday should be - full of laughter, love, retelling of embarrassing stories and the subsequent ridicule.

Christmas morning: Happy Birthday Jesus! This year, despite the rest of my family being up at 5:00 am, I was permitted to sleep until 7:00 am. Merry Christmas to me! Spoiler Alert:

It does help that the kids don't believe in Santa. No more coming in at 2:00 am with claims of having heard reindeer on the roof or checking every hour to see if he's been there yet. Anyway, we started our morning as is tradition in our home, by reading our letters to Jesus and telling Him what our birthday gift to Him will be this year. Next, of course came the stockings and tearing through hours of wrapping in about 7.4 minutes. We saved the big gift for last: a Wii, complete with Rock Band.

This was a gift from us and Erik's dad and step mom.

As you can see, it was well received. The awesome part of giving this gift was that the girls never asked for one or had any idea they were getting one. We have already had some great family time playing the sports and Rock Band and we have confirmed that none of us have any real future in the music industry.

Ok, I have to take time to brag on my husband. In the midst of exchanging the usual small gifts we always do on Christmas, i.e. cologne, DVDs, shirts, I was handed a box to open. In the box was a a scrapbook, handmade over the past month by Erik. On each page was the 3:11 scripture from every book of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. He even found clip art of corresponding art work for each and every scripture. For those of you out of the loop: 311 is my number. It seems to pop up for me everywhere from when I look at a clock to the change I get back to birthdays of relatives. I once told Erik that it comes up for me so often I use it as an opportunity to remember that God is looking over me and to thank Him for all of my blessings. In fact, in 1995 Erik told me to pick the day I would marry him. We had only been dating 6 months so, not thinking much of it, I picked March 11. We were married two years later on March 15 because March 11 did not fall on a weekend...Thank you, Erik.

On New Year's Eve we took the girls to play in the snow. It was a last minute decision so we were not as prepared with snow clothes as we should have been, but a good time was had by all. Despite froze toes we managed a decent snowball fight and a solid attempt at a snowman.

And so, that brings 2009 to a close. Looking back over a year, it never turns out the way I thought it would. I can say, though, it always turns out better than I thought. Thank goodness I'm not in charge in my life! May God Bless you all this year and may you have another year full of cherished memories.

PS Happy Birthday Bella. Our girl was 3 on January 3.

In His Service,

Fall Inspiration

Yea! It's finally fall. I mean you wouldn't really know it based on the evidence alone: 100 degree temperatures, lack of fall foliage, kids still asking if they can swim. But, I double checked the calendar and indeed it is officially fall! So, cool weather and sweaters or not, I am celebrating the season. We've recreated a bit of the fall feel in our home with faux pumpkins and autumn leaves and pumpkin candles. I even spent all last weekend canning 40 lbs of pears. (Now we have pears for months and I never want to see one again!) If I didn't take a step outside I could almost convince myself rows of trees dressed in their red and orange best and winds that bite at my nose hinting of the winter to come are just the other side of my door. Almost...

I've been in one of those moods lately. The kind where you start to reconsider everything and really feel the need to define yourself, your life, your purpose. I kept trying to figure out who I was, what I was supposed to be doing and then, what does that look like? But, I think I realized somewhere in all that analytical deep thinking, I should get up, stop thinking and actually "do" my life. That is, I already know the most important detail of who I am: I am a child of God. Moreover, He has placed me in such a time as this. A time where I get to enjoy the youth of my children all day, everyday. I never have to give them up or miss out on any of the great discoveries they make, the kind that come once in a lifetime. My husband is my best friend and I spend everyday with him. So what if I stopped trying to figure who I am and started doing the life God has blessed me with the very best that I can? I came to realize that this, right here and now, this is my life. I fell into the realization that I can keep trying to figure out what I should or could be doing or I can do this and do it well and really enjoy it at the same time.

I was helped along to this conclusion by some pretty amazing people around me who are doing just that. First, my girls. Man, do they love life! I mean they wake up everyday excited and can hardly wait to see what adventures are in store for them. Currently, they are working together to clear the side yard to (finally!) start their garden. The most beautiful part of this is that they decided to do it all on their own and they are doing it together. They work right outside my office window and I can hear them singing, laughing, and giggling. Such sweet sounds and I am filled with joy as I hear them, two little best friends, making that sister bond that lasts forever.

They are staying busy with home school and activities. In fact, here is a picture of Emma riding the Sky Bike at the Arizona Science Center. The Sky Bike is a bike suspended two stories that is impossible to tip over. You ride on what is basically a tight rope. Now there's a girl who doesn't miss a chance to have a once in a lifetime experience!

Jill would have gone too if not for her lack of height. Jill is excited for her birthday coming up in December and is already planning her sleepover.

Speaking of sisters living life, mine are doing theirs in a BIG way! My middle sister recently became engaged to a wonderful man. I can't think of two people who deserve happiness more. Oh wait, I can think of two people who also deserve such happiness. My oldest sister recently gave birth to her third child. A beautiful little girl named Claire. She is perfect. Not in the sense that she has 10 fingers and toes, because plenty of perfect children are born without those things. I mean she is perfect in the sense that everything about her is good and lovely. In the wise words of Maurice Sendak, I want to eat her up, I love her so. When I need inspiration to live life well, I need only pick up the phone and call one of these two amazing women I am blessed enough to call my sister.

And then there's the man I share my life with. Talk about inspiring. He spent last weekend in Mexico with 200 teenagers from our church building houses, a rec center and a church with the group, One Mission. He said it was life changing and he has committed to make every mission trip to Mexico with the teen ministry. In fact, it impacted him so much he has insisted I go with him next time. It was amazing to hear of the work God is doing there through our youth (who all too often get a bad rap.) It didn't take much persuasion for me to agree to go next time. Erik has also stayed busy at work and mountain biking. He inspires me in the way he sees every minute as a moment not be wasted, every encounter an opportunity and every detail of his life as a gift from God. When I am down, he reminds me to look up.

So, we are going to celebrate the season this weekend and make a pumpkin chocolate cheesecake, go for a hike and do some fall crafts. What do you know? I've fallen in love with my life all over again.

In Christ,

Jaime

Hooray for Summer (Is It Over Yet?)

It seems every year I get myself worked up in eager anticipation of summer - slow days, night swimming, fireworks, watermelon, light school schedules, even lighter chore schedules. And I love it and bask in all the warm, sunny glory that is God's gift of summer. Then it's August and I'm done. I'm done with the heat, done with being stuck inside from 10-4, done with the world's most boring 7-day forecast and I'm totally over these electric bills! I'm trying really, really hard to be thankful for God's provisions this summer. I am thankful for boardgames, reading Tom Sawyer to the girls each morning (if you haven't read this classic, especially in the middle of a hot summer, I highly recommend doing so), sipping lemonade, trips to the library and the excitement of reading the new books and watching the movies we bring home, and of course trips to the cabin. But I find, as I get older, my enthusiasm for these things doesn't seem to satisfy as much and my longing for autumn, winter and being outdoors grows like a whining child for whom good is never quite good enough. In my home we have a saying: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. Perhaps I need to take a long hard look in the mirror, appreciate the splendor of summer and stop throwing a fit. So, today it is 11o degrees, I am sipping lemonade, I am writing, my girls are playing nicely, my husband is working in the garage (on our new-to-us minivan) - indeed, life is sweet when I take the time to notice.

Our summer travels are over. Erik attended Christ In Youth in L.A., a summer camp for the teens at our church. It was a profound experience for him and he came back more excited than ever to continue his work in the teen ministry. We tried to go to the cabin for the fourth of July - key word: tried. We were there for one night and we had an, um, issue with the septic system. Nuff said. Anyway, although we were disappointed to come home early, we learned a couple of things. First, we should probably get used to handling this sort of thing if we are serious about entertaining an off the grid lifestyle. Second, a fourth of July spent at home watching the Capitol Fourth and listening to A Prairie Home Companion while eating fried chicken and homemade potato salad is a pretty fine time.

Emma's birthday is this Saturday, and she reminds us everyday and has reminded us everyday for about a month. She will be nine and no, I can't believe she will be nine. I have a nine year old? Am I old enough to have a nine year old? If I say "nine year old" enough maybe it will start to feel more normal, like maybe by the time I'm practicing saying I have ten year old. No big parties this year, something we are all, thankfully, over. She has a sleep over planned at a girlfriend's house on Friday as it is her friend's birthday as well. On Saturday we have a bit of a surprise planned for her and Sunday will be a pizza party with just her best friend. Remember when your birthday was stretched out over a whole week and it was something really special? It wasn't just about the day, it was about every card that arrived in the mail, it was the phone calls from grandparents, picking whatever you wanted to eat all day, hearing mostly yes instead of no for an entire day (or days) and hardly being able to sleep the night before the actual day. I think I would like to recapture a bit of that this year. What if, instead of lamenting turning 32, I woke up on my birthday filled with excitement and shouting "Whoo hoo, I'm 32!!" I could say yes to myself all day. Like yes, you can have a pumpkin spice latte and a pumpkin muffin. Yes, you can watch another movie. Yes, you can sleep in late and take a longer run. Yes, you can skip doing the dishes. What if we did that all year long? What if we got excited over the little things, celebrated make believe holidays, made cakes with candles for no reason, read our favorite children's book because it makes us smile, had slumber parties with our kids, or made milkshakes, for breakfast, on a Tuesday? What if I recognized every moment was a gift from God and these moments,connected, are my life and I actually stopped to enjoy them and savor them? What if...

OK, I'm done with the motivational pep talk to go recapture your youth. I think it was more for me anyway. Moving on...

I mentioned we have a new minivan. We sold the Mercedes and purchased this vehicle as it is much more practical for our family right now. This was a gift from God and although we weren't sure, financially, how it would all work out, we were able to get a great deal on the van, pay cash for it and put a little money in the bank. Somehow, it always comes back to a trust issue doesn't it?

As much as I looked forward to less on the schedule for summer, I am excited to start up again this year. I begin my work with the mentoring ministry again at church this month and we kick off the school year with the home school ministry next week. I so love my involvement with both of these groups and am truly excited to see what the Lord has in store over the next few months.


So, sorry, no new pictures this time. Mostly because I haven't downloaded them, but also we just haven't had the camera out much over the summer. Until next time...(which will hopefully be sooner rather than later, but no promises...)

In His Service

Home Sweet Home

Well, so much for posting every two weeks. Darn, there goes that award for perfect mom. Foiled again. Ah well, we've been busy, but I am happy to report we are finally seeing the slow down that has been on the horizon since last fall. Here's what we've been up to:

As most of you know, Erik visited Panama in the early part of May. (Yes, like the country - Panama.) It was a trip we felt convicted to send him on as God had put the idea of a move to Panama in front of us three times over the last year. We were ready to go where the Lord was leading, even if that meant a drastic relocation. However, our prayers for a clear answer and guidance were answered and after just a couple of days there, Erik was sure we were not to move, at least not yet. It was a beautiful, diverse country, and one which we look forward to visiting as a family. But, in the end, we really believe it was a trip Erik needed to make so we would know for sure that right here, in Glendale, is where we belong for now. In essence, he had to go, so he could come home.

I also did some traveling in May. Right after Erik's return from Panama, I traveled to a much more exciting, exotic destination: Omaha, Nebraska. Okay,perhaps not as dangerous, but after hearing of Erik's accommodations, I guarantee it was much more glamorous. I went for my grandmother's 85th birthday celebration. It was a lovely, relaxing time. I had the luxury of sleeping late (the kids stayed home with Erik!), enjoying quiet time to read and play games and catch up with family members I had not seen for a few years. The weather was rainy and chilly - perfect in my opinion. Everything was so green and lush, it made me want to really get going on my own garden here at home. Of course, then I got home to 100 degree temps and put that ambition back on the shelf until next fall.

The girls are doing great and growing up much to fast for my taste. Emma is at sleep away church camp by herself for the first time this week. Jill and I are literally counting down the hours until we get to pick her up on Friday. I have word from a friend who is counselor there that Emma got a little homesick one time, but for the most part is having a fantastic time. I went with her last year, but Erik, she and I decided together that she should go alone this year and start to spread her wings a little. Hopefully not too much, I'm not ready for my chicks to fly away just yet. Next week the girls will go to VBS and then, as much as possible, we are taking the rest of the summer off.

Wait....scratch that. Jill will not be taking it easy this summer. Jill will begin swim lessons this summer and after stroke school is considering joining a swim team. She already does awesome in the water and with a little real guidance, i.e. not mom and dad, we think she may have found something she'll stick with for awhile. In the mean time, she continues to keep us in stitches with her witty remarks and much too mature for her age humor. In fact, we were recently informed after one day of her new first grade Sunday school class, that she found it boring and had elected to skip it and go straight to second grade. Oh boy...

In His Service,

Jaime

Cabin Fever

We spent last weekend at Erik's family's cabin on Mingus Mountain (near the Prescott/Jerome area.) It's a true log cabin on a secluded patch of 40 acres in a canyon of the mountain. Places like that have a way of making you never want to leave. They some how offer both the permission and invitation to imagine your life differently. For me it's a life that is bigger and smaller at the same time. A life that requires an abandonment of everything I thought I needed or was important and an embrace of the things that truly are the stuff of which life is made. When it's 30 degrees outside, there is a fire building in the wood stove and I am reading Farmer Boy to my daughters by the light of lantern, I dare to suggest to myself, "I could get used to this." Among other things, we proved to ourselves we can indeed survive without the constant stimulation of television and computer and that yes, we do in fact like to spend time together. It's not the worst thing in the world to discover you love your family.

The girls had a fabulous time exploring, hiking and enjoying the freedom that comes when their parents can finally relax. In fact, they even stayed "home" alone for about an hour while Mom & Dad enjoyed a hike all to themselves. While our only hope was that the cabin would still be standing and no one would be seriously injured when we returned, we were pleasantly surprised to find they had cleaned the entire cabin and played a civil game of Uno. It was one of those parenting moments where one thinks, "Maybe I'm not totally messing this up after all."

The weekend was also a time of prayer, reflection and a genuine sense of gratitude. We knew going up there we were blessed, but on the drive home we all had a renewed sense of well being and a smile that stayed on our faces well into the return to our normal routine at home.

So, while the days are getting hotter and we know the worst of the heat is yet to come, we are eagerly anticipating the slow pace that comes with summer. A time when the only thing we have to do is make sure we get a refill on our lemonade between laps in the pool. Okay, maybe it's not quite that slow, but, from one who loves to schedule everything, I plan to schedule more time for absolutely nothing...

In His Service,

From My Home to Yurt(s)

I've been in a bit of a funk lately. We are making some big decisions about our future and although there is a relief in knowing that we (Erik & I) are headed in the same direction, there is also a bit of angst that comes with such discussion. There is the angst of not knowing how we'll get from here to there. There is the angst of not knowing if our dreams are God's will for our future. And then there is the worst frustration of all - the Veruca Salt variety, i.e. : I want it and I want it now!!

So, no, that it is not a mispelling in today's title. One of our mutual dreams, it turns out, is to live on a large piece of land in a yurt. What is a yurt, you may be asking? Though generally classified as a tent, a yurt is much stronger and weathertight. Yurts are a circular structure that consists of a durable fabric cover, tension band and a wood frame that includes a lattice wall, radial rafters, central compression ring and a framed door. It sounds really primitive I know, but Google them and take a look at the pictures - they are beautiful. But it's the whole lifestyle we equate with living in a yurt that appeals most to us. Ridding ourselves of things, living off-grid, focusing on what's really important. A real back to basics. I know I'm so corny. The girls and I are reading the Little House book series right now and I get such a longing in my heart as we read about their simple way of life.

So, for the time being we are trying to creat that simple life right here in suburbia. Emma, Jill and I are officially starting to prepare our garden this week. As a family we have made a committment to spend more time in nature and have even committed to hiking every weekend. Eventually, we'd like to get back into mountain biking. Although Erik will have to go it alone for awhile as we are still working on getting the training wheels of Jill's bike. (Do they make training wheels for mountain bikes??...doubtful....) I wanted a chicken coop for the backyard as well, but Erik said a very firm NO! He's got to draw the line somewhere I suppose. So, our small changes are a start and it does feel good to be working toward a common family goal. (But, there's still that little voice deep inside sreaming I want it now!!!)

PS This discussion was prompted because it is our anniversary today. 12 years!!!! At least if our dreams are crazy, we still have the same crazy dreams after more than a decade together.

In His Service,