Fall Fun

This year, I am happy to report, that our fall days have been the proverbial big pile of freshly raked leaves and we have been indeed jumping in and having a fabulous time. Although we've been busy, I am so thankful as I look at my exhausted babies asleep in the van going from one event to the next that we are making some pretty grand memories. I love everything about fall. I love wandering the school supply aisles at Walmart, I love pumpkin lattes at Starbucks, I love candy corn and I love almost feeling like I could wear a sweater.



My husband and I very often speak in movie quotes to each other, and this is one of our faves. In the spirit of autumn, I offer this sentiment to you as well:

Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms. (You've Got Mail)

Fall mornings mean different things to different people, I know. For instance, to Erik it means waking early to take a brisk bike ride with his friends on a Saturday morning. For me, it means making doughnuts and coveting the homes on This Old House in my PJ's. To each his own....

This year we also roasted our own pumpkins to make pumpkin puree. Let me tell you, two small pie pumpkins make a pretty massive amount of puree. For me, this itch has been satisfied and I can check off 'make pumpkin puree' from my life list and go back to Libby's puree in a can. We were able to make two pumpkin pies and pumpkin whoopie pies which are, if I do say so myself, de-lish. Statistics say most Americans gain 7-10 pounds in the holiday season. We're over achievers, we're going to see if we can top that record.

To aid in our weight gain efforts we went trick-or-treating and brought home quite the haul in our homemade trick or treat bags. We had a match fit pair this year - a hippie and a sailor. They walked around the neighborhood protesting each other....totally kidding. We had an awesome time and even met some of our neighbors who are looking for a church. Yes, Halloween can be an outreach opportunity.

Our season also included a Fall Fest at the park and an old-fashioned pumpkin carving party complete with apple bobbing. These events are proof it doesn't take fancy gadgets, expensive bounce houses or lots of money to have some good clean fun. And, can I just say, I love my girls' affinity for simplicity? When we arrived at the carving party there were all sorts of intricate patterns for pumpkin carving. My kids would have none of it and stuck with triangles and toothy grins, despite some pretty heavy pressure to go all fancy-schmancy. I am beyond thrilled that they still love an old school jack-o-lantern. And, although their stubborness can make me want to pull out my hair some days, I so admire their tenacity and their strong sense of self. I marvel at them everyday.

So that just about wraps up fall for us. My sister's wedding is this month and I can't think of better way to celebrate my favorite season than by celebrating love. And, of course, Thanksgiving looms ahead. But, as I'm not hosting this year, I'm simply looking forward to the parade and food I didn't prepare. Does anyone else still watch the parade? Erik is convinced I'm the only one left who insists on watching it in its entirety. I'm such a sucker for a good parade.

In His Service -

These Pants Don't Fit

I have been homeschooling for almost four years now and I've just begun to figure some things out. The biggest discovery I've made just this week is that trying to homeschool the way a blog or a website or a book or even a friend tells you to is like trying to wear the wrong size pants. I wish I could wear jeans two sizes smaller than I do and in theory, I would look fabulous in them. But, the harder I try to fit into them the more it hurts and I end up feeling frustrated and like I failed. Not to mention that I look ridiculous.

This is true of my past approach to home schooling. I don't blame the books or blogs, I take full responsibility. I am a Shiny Object Homeschooler. I commit to one curriculum and I love it and hug it and name it George, until....Oooh, that's pretty. I see another curriculum that looks even better and I convince myself that my kids will surely miss out if I don't immediately incorporate it into our classroom, until....Ooooh, that's pretty...You get the idea.

I'm done with that. I didn't start homeschooling so that someone else could tell me what to do. Quite the opposite. I love homeschooling because I get to choose, be flexible, take the time I want, keep what works, can what doesn't, take a day off to lounge in our PJ's and watch movies and eat popcorn and call it extracurricular. I love that! Why would I let someone tell me I was wrong or try to fit my totally unique, awesome kids into their one size fits all education?

So, I'm trying to be more aware of what works for us and relax and enjoy these precious years. I also plan to share more of what we discover works for us in the hopes it might help someone else too. I felt so lost when I first started and wished there had been more realistic, practical tips. But, please, if you try one of our methods and it doesn't work for you, CAN IT - without guilt or hesitation.

Here are a couple of things that work for us:

Our filing trays - one for each girl. Oh, and that's my pocket Peyton - a birthday present.

5 in 5

5 in 5 is our filing method. We all hate to file and so we don't. We are organized to the point that each child has their own tray to put all their filing in for a later time. But, we began to notice that later time never came. So, we always have a few minutes each day where one child is waiting to start a lesson while the other finishes. During this time now, the waiting child will grab 5 things from their cubby and file what they can in 5 minutes. This is working beautifully for us: our filing doesn't pile up, we don't stop between every subject to file and no one complains because it's only 5 things and 5 minutes.

Our folders - organized by subject and color.

Reading After Lunch

We try to get all of our school done in the morning before we break for lunch. This is especially true for my youngest child as once she stops, she's done. But, if I'm honest, this doesn't usually happen. There are inevitably one or two things we don't get to and must finish in the afternoon. However, if I try to take my children from the freedom of lunch right back into the classroom to go back at it, we all get frustrated. So, each day after lunch they get their pillows or paper and art supplies and they relax or draw while I read one chapter from each of the two books we read together. This takes us about 30-40 minutes and afterward they are calm and happy and ready to finish the day. This one change to our schedule, implemented after my youngest gave up naps, has made a huge impact on all of our sanity. We're not sane mind you, but we're not getting crazier anymore.

Our current after lunch reading. We're finishing the Laura series and although we've

read Harry Potter before, we have so much fun reading it as a family we're going through the

series again.

Autumn Perspective

I've been tormenting myself every morning by watching the weather reports on the Today show and coveting the fall weather in other parts of the country. The worst part comes when Al Roker puts up the map colored in red, orange and yellow to show the peak of fall foliage so we can plan our trips to see the colors change. Then, I look at my neck of the woods and it's still mostly that awful brown color which translates to: I'm sorry, you need actual trees to see the tree leaves change color. But that's okay (I tell myself) one quick 2 hour drive north and I can have fall. Now, if I could just find a way to box it up and spread a little around here....

As is our norm, we have tried our best to create fall in our home. The pumpkins are out, the scarecrows hung up and the leaves spread around. Admittedly its a little disappointing to look past the vibrant reds and golds of our faux fall to see my children swimming, still, in stinkin' October... But I know come January and 65 degree temps and sunny days, I will hear my husband say, "This is why we live here." And, I will have to admit that he's right, as he is almost always.

Despite the fact that my complaints seemed to have peaked with the fall foliage, this fall has been full of reminders of how good our God is and how abundantly He blesses us. This was no more clear to us than on September 26, 2010 when Erik, Emma and I had the honor of baptizing Jilly. And, if I'm honest, although Erik and I were in the baptistery too, it was overwhelming to see my daughter baptize her sister. It was a glorious day shared with friends and family. The memories of this once in a lifetime event are forever etched in my mind and I am truly thankful for each and every one of them.

The family we were honored to build a house for - Miguel, Cynthia and Anna.
Our fall continued with a trip to Rocky Point, Mexico. We went on a mission trip with the high school ministry to build houses in the barrios with an amazing group called One Mission. This was a trip Erik and I decided not to go on earlier in the summer. We decided that we could not afford the trip with the registration fees and the passport I would need. We decided that we would, instead, spend that weekend as we had planned at a Jack Johnson concert. The tickets were a birthday present from Erik and the concert is something we have always wanted to do. End of story, our minds were made up. We had decided and planned and were totally comfortable with our choice. Right....Well, you can see how much deciding we did and you are probably laughing about as much as God did during all of this planning. I went to lunch with a friend who shall remain nameless, and Kristina Harbour challenged me to rethink my decision and pray about the trip. Pray? Ask God what He wanted me to do? Hmmm, novel concepts and so crazy they might just work. So, we did. We talked and prayed and prayed and talked. I would like to say at this moment the sun broke through the clouds, we had our ah ha moment and realized we should go to Mexico. But, no. We decided we were not going to be guilted into going to Mexico. I'll pause here while you finish laughing....OK? Then, we went to church. The entire sermon was about getting out of your comfort zone and into the faith zone, taking risks, obeying God..really? Are You serious right now? By the end of the sermon Erik was squeezing my hand so hard I knew we were going to Mexico. But, just in case we needed confirmation, as we stood up to leave, the music they played on the speakers? You guessed it: Jack Johnson. Sometimes God whispers, and sometimes He shouts. We heard Him loud and clear.



Sweet Anna

And? Mexico was amazing and totally worth giving up my Jack Johnson tickets. We spent three days with awesome high school students building houses for really amazing families. The bonds formed between those of us in the ministry, the fellowship with the families, serving God - all of this was great. But none of it compared to what Emma said as we pulled into our driveway after the trip - exhausted, dirty, beat....She said, "Oh my gosh. Our house is like a mansion." Perspective was perhaps God's biggest blessing of that weekend.

Perspective is something I am lacking when I sit in my air conditioned home and complain about the heat. Perspective is what I lack when I stare at a pantry full of food and lament that we have nothing to eat. Perspective is missing when I think money is tight simply because I cannot afford to go to a museum this week. I have never been starving or homeless. I do not know what it is to want for anything. I gained perspective. I'm not sure I could have walked away from a concert with a gift like that.

Truth

Taking a break from the usual family update to share whats on my heart. Actually, this was what was on my heart a couple months ago. I wrote it and chickened out from sharing it. In response to a conviction to not operate from a place of fear, here goes...

Ok, the book writing thing: The bad news is I haven’t given it much attention in awhile. The good news is I had a total breakdown with dear hubby as I read what I had written so far and lamented the fact that I had quit working on this project. He did what any good husband should do; he scolded me. I needed a good verbal spanking quite frankly. I was scared to that point to call this what it is and even more scared to finish it. I said out loud to my husband and my children: I am an author and I am going to finish my book. It was remarkable. We all cried and hugged it out and then my sweet little seven-year-old looked up into my eyes with her big beautiful hazel eyes and said through a flood of tears, “I feel like you love me less everyday.” What the….? Warm fuzzies gone, mother’s guilt here. Ah, the universe is just as it should be.

Seriously, we got past that; I told her I love her more today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow. Yes, I know it’s a totally cheese ball seventies song but the kid doesn’t know that and it solved my problem. Well, it solved my problem until she quotes me to her pastor this Sunday…oh well, I’ll deal with it later.

So now I have a level of accountability in place. I’m back at it, ready to hear the big messages from God about who I am supposed to be. I went hiking this morning and it was amazing. I was at peace and the wind was blowing. It’s July in Arizona, this may very well qualify as a miracle. You know the wisdom received today? Do more alone. Short, but not sweet. This didn’t feel like a little message to me at all, no this was one of my first doozies. I never do anything alone except grocery shop and hike. Well, that’s not exactly true either. When ever possible I coax my husband into shopping with me and my pseudo adopted teen daughter into hiking with me. What is my fear of being alone? Where did that come from?

I’m afraid to make the wrong decision. There I go operating out of fear again. I need to start making decisions all on my own without the input or advice of anyone. Not the big stuff mind you. I understand that major life decisions (MLDs) should be made with dear hubby and possibly with the advice of other Godly people. But I’m not talking about the MLDs. It’s the little stuff that should really be up to me that I need to go it alone on – yeah, that stuff paralyzes me. You know what else? I never take credit for my own ideas – ever. If I am talking to a friend and I have something clever to say, I always give credit to my husband or even lie and say I read it or heard it somewhere. That is certifiable crazy behavior. Am I seriously afraid that if I take credit for something my friend will either think that a) I’m a snob, or b) I am lying and heard my little nugget from someone really qualified, a.k.a. Beth Moore? Truth? Yes.

I also realized I don’t like rules, more specifically, directions. Now there are some directions and rules that are good and necessary, i.e. the 10 Commandments, or driving laws for instance. But other rules and directions are a big waste of time. I like to sew. I hate, with as much passion as one can hate inanimate objects, patterns. I loathe them. Should that stop me from doing something I really like? Um, no. Hey look at that, all this time I thought I was a goody-two-shoes and the truth is I am a rebel. I am a rule breaker. Watch out expensive fabric everywhere, here I come with scissors and no directions. This feels good, dangerous, but good.

I have been living my life either on pause or with the mute button permanently engaged. Scary as it is, I’m done with that. I want to dance in the freedom that Jesus gave me and I want to live out loud without concern for what others think of me. I have not been true to myself for the last almost 33 years. I cannot be true to God if I am not true to myself.

Okay, So We Got a Little Campy This Summer

Summer time and the livin's NOT easy. Whoever wrote that song, (Gershwin, right?) did not live in Phoenix in July. Seriously, everything feels harder to do when it's 115 degrees outside. Even mustering the motivation to get up and do something feels more difficult. I know I lamented about this last year as well, but it just wouldn't be summer if I didn't complain a little bit (ok a lot) about the heat. Although, sad to say, it has rubbed off on Jilly who, when I said "it's a little toasty," on our way into church last weekend said, emphatically, "No, no its not. It is a lot toasty, it is stinkin' hot." Amen sista.

Perhaps this year home feels hotter because I had the opportunity to escape the heat not once, but twice in June. First, was a trip to Prescott to attend UCYC (United Christian Youth Camp) with Emma. As some of you may recall, I did not attend last year and spent the week crying on her bed missing her terribly. So off we went together this year where we spent at least one day crying together missing Daddy and Jilly. At least our misery had company. But, to call the week misery would not be fair. We did indeed have a fantastic time and our group of girls, 7 in all, got on brilliantly. We zip lined, shot paintball guns, did archery, climbed a rock wall and played kickball. But perhaps the scariest moment we had to overcome was playing pool games in a thunderstorm and sixty degree weather. Despite a slight chill on entry, we sucked it up and ended up even enjoying that part! Spending time with Emma, you can't help but make some pretty grand memories. She does everything, even if she's done it a thousand times, like its the first time ever and sees it with these incredible brand new eyes. I envy that and I pray she never loses that awe and wonder for life. Emma and I had so much fun, we convinced Erik to go next year, with Jilly, and make UCYC a family event.

My UCYC girls on Wacky Wednesday.


So, home from Prescott for 5 days and then Erik & I were off to CIY (Christ in Youth) in Durango, CO with our teen ministry. 700 teenagers + 70 coaches + 13 buses + 6 days = not enough bathrooms. No seriously, it added up to an amazing week and a ton of fun. The hardest part was leaving Emma and Jilly, despite knowing they were in great hands (thanks, mommy!) The best part was my girls - my students. God is soooo good. I have the most awesome group of students and the best part is I get to do life with them here at home. I am honored, truly, to have the privilege to be a part of a small group bible study with these girls each week, to hang out with them, to laugh and to cry and to witness the amazing transformations Christ is making in them and through them. Upon return, our group grew in size as a few more girls who were unable to attend camp joined our group here at home and they are equally terrific. I am so excited to see what God is going to do this year in the lives of our students and humbled and honored that I get to be a small part if it all.


God is sneaky like that, isn't He? Just when your life feels small and you've lost your purpose, He brings you through these life changing experiences that remind you that you may be small, but you have a vital role in His big picture.





Jilly at the cabin for Mother's Day.
She is an illustration of being small and big at the same time. A small little girl, with a huge personality and the ambition to match. She just makes me smile, she is brilliant. I love, love, love that she is mine for a little while.










Alright, I'm going to seek some accountability here too, if you don't mind. Wow, I've never done this quite so publicly before. Have I ever even asked for any accountability before? Hmmm, there's another blog....Okay, as most of you by now know, I love to write. It's sort of a passionate hobby of mine. What you may not know is that I started a book about a year ago, and promptly convinced myself no one would ever want to read it, so I quit. I quit doing something I love because I thought someone wouldn't like it. That is tragically sad I think. So, I've decided to finish my book. And maybe no one will want to read it, but I'm okay with that. I want to finish it because I love to do it and I really feel like God has asked me to see this through. So, if you think about it, ask me how that's going from time to time. Knowing You might ask, motivates me to be able to say that I'm hard at work on it, chipping away everyday. Thanks.

In His Service

Signs of Life

Confession: I've been watching my life again lately. I've been a total spectator in the stands and not even the kind that is really into the game. I think I've been on an extended half-time, still eating popcorn and waiting for the crowds to clear so I can go to the bathroom. By this I mean I haven't been doing anything because I keep waiting for everything to settle down. Note to self: It never settles down. I go to bed every night promising myself to get more out of this blessed life tomorrow. I live a pretty incredible life, but I do I truly take advantage of it?

It got me to thinking. Is my life well lived? How do you know if a life is well lived? What are the signs of life?

I think I found some.



Like missing teeth. Really, at what other time in your life would you proudly show the fact that you have no front teeth? This is a moment that comes once in a lifetime. For Jill, it came at seven. She lost the first front tooth in the normal bathroom sink kind of way. But the second was missing when she woke up one morning. We continue to work under the assumption that she swallowed it in her sleep as we never did find the tooth. After laboring to eat apples, corn and just about everything with two loose front teeth, she is reveling in the ease with which food slips right in now.

Another sign of life: Bruises, bumps and scrapes.

It's a fact, you can't get hurt if you're not in the game. But, then again, what's the fun in watching other people play the game just to spare yourself a little pain? The girls have been on their bikes everyday getting every second out of these glorious days God has given us. Nearly every afternoon, just as soon as they come in, they hear a call from the neighbor kids, "Emma, Jill?" They look at one another and without a word spoken they slips their shoes back on and run outside to squeeze out just a little more fun before it's time to come in for dinner. Not a moment wasted. Every drop of sunshine reaches its full potential in their imagination and joy.

One of my favorite signs of life: dancing.


Erik took the girls to annual Daddy-Daughter Dance at church in February. But he did more than just take them to the dance. I was horribly sick that day and had planned to take the girls to get their hair done and paint their nails - all the fun girly stuff that comes with such an occasion. I worried they would miss out, but I shouldn't have worried. I should have remembered whom I married. He took them to get their hair done, painted their nails, helped them get dressed and then, of course, he danced with them all evening.

Oh, and there is one more dance around our here that brings life to the whole house and makes us all laugh. It can only be done by Jilly and she named it herself.

It is known simply as The Buffet.

This is only one small piece and if you've not seen the whole thing, you really must. Jill makes us all laugh all the time. The best part about her style of humor, is that it's so unintentional. It's the way when her dad asks her on the way to church, "Jill, how are you doing?" and she responds, "Why do you want to know?" It's the way when you ask her, when she's not listening, "Jill, what are our rules?" and she responds, "Listen, be respectful and don't execute people." We're pretty sure she meant don't interrupt, but then again, it is Jill...



A perhaps more subtle sign of life - maturity. Not the kind where one takes herself too seriously. No, the kind where you start to really discover who you are and even begin to get comfortable with what you find. My Emma is doing this in a really lovely way. I think back to when I was 9 and I can be pretty sure I did not mature as gracefully and beautifully as she seems to be doing now. Her smile is nearly as big as her heart. She finds fault with few, but even when she does is so quick to forgive. She doesn't judge, if you know her, you're her friend, and she is so well navigating the space between still being a little girl and becoming a young lady. She's still way into her music, loves animals and is becoming quite the mountain biker. I have to say, I soooo love her taste in music. Lately, she loves the Beatles, Erasure, French music and Harry Nilson. My girl.








I suppose a sign of life can also be marked by numbers. Like, 13 - the number of years Erik and I were married on March 15 this year. How about 4? The number of days we celebrated with a childless mini-vacation. We went to Las Vegas as a gift from our parents. My parents got us a suite at the Palazzo (The Venetian) and Erik's parents were generous enough to keep the girls. In addition, a former client of Erik's got us tickets to see The Beatles Cirque de Soleil show, Love. It was amazing and we had a great time just talking and walking and eating and eating and eating.... For two non-gamblers, by the end of day four we were anxious to get home and even more anxious to hold our babies. We kept thinking the whole time we were on vacation how blessed we feel to actually want to come home and what an awesome life God has given us. Erik gets to work from home, I am home schooling the girls, we eat 3 meals a day together, we continue to serve in teen ministry together, and, yes, we actually like to spend that much time together! Vacation seems to feel better when you don't feel like your trying to escape your life.


I can't think of a better time of year to talk about life. About new life, about resurrected life, about eternal life. So, as I celebrate life this Easter, the One given for me so that I may have new life, I suppose it's time I get in the game.


Ok, ok, but can I take my popcorn with me?


Happy Easter!

In His Service,

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas....Is Over?

Wow! That's all I could keep saying as I put away our holiday decorations this year. It seemed like we had just put them out and I was resolving, yet again, to really slow down and enjoy this Christmas season. While I certainly did enjoy the holidays, they went by really fast and I can't say that I ever slowed down. We managed to fit quite a bit in during the month of December including Jill's 7th birthday, a trip to Symphony Hall to see the Nutcracker, a visit to the Botanical Gardens, a road trip to Long Beach for a wedding, a run up the mountain to play in the snow and visit relatives, Christmas Eve at my sister's home and oh yes, Christmas! It was a whirlwind of a good time!

Our month kicked off as it as for the past seven years with Jilly's birthday. This year it was a sleepover with, count em', 10 little girls. If you're thinking it, I heard it a million times: Are you crazy?

The answer is yes, but it was so worth one night of chaos.

We decorated cookies, had makeovers (with lots & lots of red lipstick!), watched movies, ate way too much and stayed up way too late. This year was special as Jill requested that her friends make donations to Feed My Starving Children rather than bring gifts. Jilly was able to collect almost $100 which helped in our church's effort to feed over one million hungry children across the world.

The week before Christmas I traveled to Long Beach with my mother and uncle to attend my cousin's wedding. This was a lovely break with two people I always have a great time with and with whom I laugh a lot! We spent a day and a half just sitting on the beach trying to figure out a way to rearrange our lives so we could do so everyday. Alas, we came up with nothing and were forced to return to our normal routines. Granted my return to 65 degrees and sunny was a little easier than my uncle's return to sub-zero temperatues and blizzards in Omaha.

Good times, good times...

Finally, it was Christmas. Ah yes, the real reason for the season. Christmas Eve was spent at my sister, Carrie's home. It was a packed house with both my sisters, their fiancees, my mother and step father as well as extended family - including 11 children. But isn't that how Christmas is supposed to be? Loud, crowded, chaotic...It was perfect, it was great. It really was what a family holiday should be - full of laughter, love, retelling of embarrassing stories and the subsequent ridicule.

Christmas morning: Happy Birthday Jesus! This year, despite the rest of my family being up at 5:00 am, I was permitted to sleep until 7:00 am. Merry Christmas to me! Spoiler Alert:

It does help that the kids don't believe in Santa. No more coming in at 2:00 am with claims of having heard reindeer on the roof or checking every hour to see if he's been there yet. Anyway, we started our morning as is tradition in our home, by reading our letters to Jesus and telling Him what our birthday gift to Him will be this year. Next, of course came the stockings and tearing through hours of wrapping in about 7.4 minutes. We saved the big gift for last: a Wii, complete with Rock Band.

This was a gift from us and Erik's dad and step mom.

As you can see, it was well received. The awesome part of giving this gift was that the girls never asked for one or had any idea they were getting one. We have already had some great family time playing the sports and Rock Band and we have confirmed that none of us have any real future in the music industry.

Ok, I have to take time to brag on my husband. In the midst of exchanging the usual small gifts we always do on Christmas, i.e. cologne, DVDs, shirts, I was handed a box to open. In the box was a a scrapbook, handmade over the past month by Erik. On each page was the 3:11 scripture from every book of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation. He even found clip art of corresponding art work for each and every scripture. For those of you out of the loop: 311 is my number. It seems to pop up for me everywhere from when I look at a clock to the change I get back to birthdays of relatives. I once told Erik that it comes up for me so often I use it as an opportunity to remember that God is looking over me and to thank Him for all of my blessings. In fact, in 1995 Erik told me to pick the day I would marry him. We had only been dating 6 months so, not thinking much of it, I picked March 11. We were married two years later on March 15 because March 11 did not fall on a weekend...Thank you, Erik.

On New Year's Eve we took the girls to play in the snow. It was a last minute decision so we were not as prepared with snow clothes as we should have been, but a good time was had by all. Despite froze toes we managed a decent snowball fight and a solid attempt at a snowman.

And so, that brings 2009 to a close. Looking back over a year, it never turns out the way I thought it would. I can say, though, it always turns out better than I thought. Thank goodness I'm not in charge in my life! May God Bless you all this year and may you have another year full of cherished memories.

PS Happy Birthday Bella. Our girl was 3 on January 3.

In His Service,