Confession: Whenever something good happens or things are going really well, I enjoy it for about two seconds and then move right on to convincing myself not to get too attached because it will come to an end. In the wise words of one of the great philosophers of our time, Garrison Keillor, "We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.'"
I know as a woman of God this is completely insane and antithetical to God's promises for me. Rather, my heart knows this but my brain gets in the way and tries to convince my heart that indeed, all good things must come to an end. In fact, you know the saying, "hope for the best, prepare for the worst?" It's like the fax that delivered that message to my brain cut off the first part and so my brain operates solely on "prepare for the worst." (If you were born after 1995, you may need to go ask your parents what this 'fax machine' is to which I just referred.)
I do it with the big stuff for sure, like my children's health or our great house. But, I also go crazy doing it with the little stuff. Like, ok, here's a she's off her rocker confession moment: When I see shows or movies I like pop up on our streaming Netflix, I am confident they are teasers and will be removed as soon as I watch them. For instance, as you may know if you've read previous blogs, I'm a huge Doc Martin fan. I have stopped watching them for awhile because I am convinced Netflix monitors my viewing habits and removes shows I watch frequently in an effort to force me to sign up and pay for their mail order service. So, in an effort not to lose the good stuff, I miss out on the good stuff.
To be said in the voice of Gru from Despicable Me, "Light bulb."
Is this applicable to other areas of my life? Am I missing out on really enjoying the good stuff because I don't want to miss the good stuff too much later when it will inevitably come to an end? (Trackin'?) Shameful answer pause, followed by head down and whispered response: yes.
Fall is my favorite season and for the first time ever I live in a place where the leaves actually change and I have already experienced freezing temperatures. I have longed to live in a location where this was the case. Today, however, the temperature will reach about 90 degrees. So, of course, my first thought was, "See. Told ya. I knew the good weather wouldn't last." Really? Really? Ugh, that's so ugly. How about, thank you Jesus for nice weather that allowed my husband to get the yard work done and my kiddos to play outside with their friends. Thank you that it's not 105 degrees. Thank you for moving us to a place with incredible friends. Thank you for letting little ol' me live this life. Um yeah, okay, that feels better than complaining and worrying. Shocker, I know.
Speaking of loving fall and appreciating all of God's blessings, here are some things I am thankful for and glad I didn't miss:
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| Picking apples at the apple butter festival at the apple orchards. |
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| How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... |
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| Two of my favorite people to hang out with. Love, love, love them. |
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| The don't look posed at all, right? |
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| My heart, my love. Thankful everyday I get to do life with this man. |
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| Every year my birthday gift to myself is decorating for fall. Thus, the Halloween decorations come out in September. |
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| A view from a bridge over the corn maze we did at At'l Do Farms. |
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| In the maze. Although we've done these in Arizona, this was the first time we ever had to bundle up. And, we were still cold. It was perfect! |
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| Erik, indulging my Tom Selleck crush. I love my cowboy. |
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| Our new home school friends from Grace Lubbock Home School Group at the corn maze. |
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| We went on a hayride and then were allowed to pick pumpkins off the vine. Erik said they could each pick a small one. These are 2 of the 4 pumpkins we came home with that day. Softie. |
So, do all good things come to an end? Maybe. Did you the know the original saying can be traced back to Chaucer and he actually said "all things must come to an end." The good part was probably added later by some worrier like myself. So, perhaps all things do come to an end, but I'm pretty sure we're meant to enjoy them along the way. So, I'm off to experience a little more fall and watch another Doc Martin. Life is good, go live it.
